the enough moment.

trembling position of fear - "what does it mean to reach the moment when enough is enough?"

throwing together everything that makes sense.

as much as i would like to say some things, my voice drops back down into my belly and grumbles, makes sounds, refusing to come out verbally. we avoid to touch down on the same grounds that we once touched before. and i still wonder sometimes if you'll ever come home. they say "things are better left unsaid." but how are they better if it keeps your expression behind bars that not even you would want to belong? some people are too Holy to just. be. real. i don't want to be here too much longer. not here. i can only imagine what the rest of the world looks like. and my imagination is running on loose ends. running away from me. i don't think i'm ok with that. "the enough moment" will never reach a person completely until they are affected directly and act upon that moment with change. people don't care about things unless they are affected directly. or effected. i never know which one is the proper one to use. but i'm learning a lot in my editing class this semester. i can still become a better writer. i'm just praying that my mind will open up, enough to devour what positive i am being fed. and i think it's amazing the way i've become transparent. maybe it was something i said. something i did. thank God for being God and ultimately forgiving me - no longer should i seek for the forgiveness of man. all in all, the weather has changed from comfortable to uncomfortably chilling and i'm moving and feeling like water and wind together. irresistible. i'm resting in Your will.

• let it out!
• understand that you will never know all.
• understand that you will never understand all.
• look outside of self and into the world.
• let God be God, He needs not my help.
• remember that Love is not easy.
• in due time, let him now.
• pick up your creative extensions and use them!
• start a new project, soon.
• breathe.

two hundred-five.

nails against the crate.

to come back,

months later,

to a face you

tried to memorize -

remembering

how difficult it

was in the beginning

refreshes your memory

now, even more,

because the face has changed

and has become

more beautiful than you

would have ever known.

and you miss that you

missed that chance -

now you're trying to

start again.

the sun is still shining

when you close your

eyes to sleep,

always remember that.