"the world is at your feet."

lessons to be learned.

to whom this may concern:

i'm sure you've been waiting to read from me and this message is long overdue.  bear with me.

there are some things that i have been taught, afraid to learn.  some things i've heard, afraid to listen.  some things i've seen, afraid to internalize.  some things i've heard, afraid to accept.  the common denominator of all things experienced is fear.  afraid to not fear.  the problem is that fear has been like a jackhammer in my spine, paralyzing me to the point of numbness, to the point of little to no feeling.  with ghosts traveling inside and outside of my body, stirring up an emotion i believed to have been put to death eons ago, i've realized that this moment, where i am, is not meant to be filled with fear, but with faith.  and to be quite frank, faith has been of little significance to me in times of fear.

"you know, you need to grow where you are planted," morgan said.

what little things we take for granted in the places we stay the longest.  how insignificant are the things that carry the weight of blessings that we pass up and treat as though nonexistent.  running towards  baskets of ephemeral hope gets old.  and looking left and right will tire the neck quicker than you might think.  however, casting those deep, almond eyes towards the feet of the Redeemer takes no effort because it becomes so second nature.  it becomes so natural.  you become yourself again when you are re-awakened by the grace that swept you away and saved you from that daunting, catastrophic catapult that was ready to fling you away from your first Love - Christ. you remember His affections and His aura.  then, every emotion of fear and sadness and misery and defeat is flushed with the renewing spirit of His joy and His hope and His comfort and His love, these of which will never come to an end.  and you're filled and you're complete.  you're able to grow, in contentment, where you are planted.  you are able to activate the purpose that had been injected in you at the point of salvation, rebirth.  and you realize, nothing else in this world will complete you or transform you and move you from your worst to your best.  nothing.  you remember, there is nothing that has that type of power.  absolutely nothing.

there have been many lessons to be learned.  like a rose in a bush of thorns, i've matched the delicacy and danger of both.  know that people won't like you, accept that people won't pick you - love, and move.  some things are meant to stay where they are - they should not have the power to strip any smile from your face.  trigger any tear to trail down your cheek.  steal slumber from your nights.  they should not have the power, not at all.  and those who play the role of judas, keep your eyes and heart open to their schemes.  love, still.  don't allow naivety to be your armor.  have courage.  keep on marching on.  keep on.

• the humble are not weak, they will be exalted,
• the wise listen - they watch and they listen,
• the content will desire nothing more than Who they already have.

there's much to smile about, much to rejoice about.  you've only just begun.

sincerely,

J.

make the bus.

we followed the moonlight, chased after the sun.

nothing like beads of sweat rolling generously down your body, telling you,

"you're working hard, keep going.  keep pushing."